Inner Critic

August 3, 2012

 

I recently came across a song titled, "The Competition" by Kimya Dawson. Her lyrics struck me, in that they so beautifully demonstrate the work of our Inner Critic, and it's ability to make us feel not good enough. She gives voice to the struggle that so many of us face on the path to worthiness. You can hear that song at 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8yG0YgUpPlg or Check out the lyrics below:


 

 

"The Competition"

I never wanted to be better than my friends
I just wanted to prove wrong the people in my head
The ones who told me I'd be better off dead
The ones who told me that I would never win

When I delivered newspapers they said I was too slow
When I was a barista they said I made lousy foam
When I worked in retail they said I was a slob
Much too dumb for school and much too lazy for a job

So I rode my bike like lightning
And I made cappuccinos that would make the angels sing
Took two showers a day and I dressed up like a princess
Shook my fist in my own face and said "i'll show you who's the best"

I wrote the kinds of papers teachers hang up on their walls
I was employee of the month in seven different shopping malls
And one time, playing football, I pulled the tendons in my leg
To prove that I was tough I hopped on one foot
And finished up the game

I thought if I succeeded I'd be happy and they'd go away
But first thing every morning I'd still wake up and I'd hear them say
"you're fat, ugly and stupid, you should really be ashamed
No-one will ever like you, you're no good at anything"

And sometimes I'd rise to the challenge
But other times I'd feel so bad that I could not get out of bed
And on the days I stayed in bed I sang and sang and sang
About how crappy I felt, not realizing how many other people would relate

Now people send me emails that say thanks
For saying the things they didn't know how to say
And the people in my head still visit me sometimes
And they bring all of their friends, but I don't mind
I play my guitar like lightning
When I sing I like it when you sing too, loud and clear
Different voices, different tones, all saying "yeah, we're not alone"
I got good at feeling bad and that's why I'm still here
I got good at feeling bad and that's why I'm still here
I got good at feeling bad and that's why I'm still here
 

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